First day back in school after 2 weeks of being clutched in the icy hands of death .

I turned up with a scar on my face because I had scratched myself by accident the night before and a purple thumb (I had slammed it with the door of the dryer). As you can see, I was alive and kicking.As z puts it, I have the knack of 'attracting accidents' onto myself.

No red carpet treatment for me but I had the pleasure of knowing all lessons were cancelled this week due to the mock exams.

So here I was merrily celebrating, getting my party poppers out when f tells me that I had a history mock in ....5 minutes. The party poppers went back in the bag and out came the plastic pencil case. The past week had gone by like a blur with 80% of my time spent on msn,10%sleeping and 10% eating, the moment of reckoning had come at last. Resigned to my fate, it was with a heavy heart and a heavy belly (from all the eating of the past week),I waddled into the gym, telling myself it was no big deal. it was only a mock.

The nightmare was far from over. mort,flis and I got separated from the herd and ended up sitting with some girls from another random history set.We got the wrong question paper and got slapped on the head by captain kirk (the mofo) with her stack of papers, in front of everyone!Physics...Maths....French...German.... It was pretty amusing... what with the wrong seating,wrong paper,slap on the head,going to fail anyway....Oh well, c'est la vie.

Got more papers coming up but here I am faffing about.
I love to faff.
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What's it with me and guys. Honestly.

Just when I get rid of one freak, another comes trotting along leaving a train of semen in his tracks.

First there was sick 26 year old perv . Clem.
He was all dandy to talk to but he started getting so clingy you'd think his mother was cling film and his dad scotch tape. Pestering me every waking moment....
Alright, he did good in all his flattery, but seriously.
On top of that, he had the stupidity (or guts) to brag about his tiny manhood. Is that supposed to turn me on because ...I'm not feeling it.
You're 26! Get a clue!
So here comes Clem asking me out for drinks when I get back, and I insist he bring a hot friend. Doesn't that indicate some sort of repulsion when a girl will only go out with you if you bring alternative company?
Still not getting the hint, he asks me to go tanning with him...swimming with him.
Maybe noone's told you this but you're fat, ugly, old, CLINGY,with a nonexistent manhood to boot so maybe you should think three hundred times before you start turning on your charm to seduce the ladies'.

Next in line, following closely after the example of Clem comes Glenn (hey, it rhymes...do I detect a pattern?)

Apparently, according to this natural casanova, he's had a crush on me since my heydays back in ohsohappening acjc. *ew*. Claiming to have been in the same orientation group as me, he thought I was hot. Caught him out on that one, anyone who thought I was hot would have to be blind. But then again...it was jc,so I guess choice was rather...limited. We're talking about schools where balding 50year old women in waisted pants with lipstick on their teeth have their names etched onto plastic tables for petes' sake. Also, if he had a crush on me he would have given me something for vd, but his only reply was 'shy lorrrr' *weak!* What is wrong with these people???

He asks me if his gf is hot. In a word, NO. But of course, I had to be nice, she's not the kind of girl I'd go for. He's a swimmer, hence the good bod, too bad he's having trouble keeping his manhood under wraps. What's it with guys and their toys... they never outgrow them really. I guess I'm less harsh with him because he's a new edition and he's got a cute smile. Still, nonetheless, he makes it to my geeks& freaks list.