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Images: I Brushes: I Hosts: I, II |
Of course, there are those murky currents of subconcious thought that blur one's vision from time to time. But it's all in a days work. K and I worked hard this afternoon suppressing them- she bought me a caramel macchiato, starbucks, and it worked (slightly). Huddled in these cushy red sofa's i asked the obligatory 'girlfriend' questions like ," are you okay babe", "you sure you'll be alright?".Halfway through I became increasingly aware of the fact that they were all rhetorical in nature so I stopped. Instead, I chose to give her empathising looks over the modest coffee table between the two of us. She was sad. Being rejected by a guy and cambridge on the same day.... I can imagine the pain. it's just a matter of time for me to be going through the motions as well. My room was stifling when i got back. The heaters work when you don't need them and the cleaners had closed my windows. Throwing my jacket on the floor, a single text message summoned me to anna's vacant room where s was waiting. As she spoke i absent mindedly twisted a post-it and made it into a candle wick which i'm very proud of. The room smelt of jam thanks to my candlewick. good job. Brought dinner up to z's room in the evening. Walking around her room I spied a pair of snazzy cowboy boots which i couldn't resist trying on. With American pie blasting in the background (albeit erratically), I entertained z with a pretty good dance ; a cross between line dancing and body spasms, i wish i could wear boots in singapore without looking like a retard.Showed z a website that had us both cracking up hysterically.Then I was reminded that a was waiting for me at the bus station. The strong sense of obligation and empathy had me braving the cold and risking pneumonia just to fetch that bloody girl from the bus stop. Handing me a 30 kilo bag to haul all the way back i struggled with it all the way to the house. The bag was almost my size and 3/5 my weight ,i felt like one false step would have me meeting my maker sooner than expected. With z gone to have a shower, i am alone for the first time in the day. It doesn't feel so bad somehow. For once,the silence is peaceful and not loud or oppressive. Today was a good day. I had my coffee,my cigs (which are significantly lower in tar and much weaker than my normal ones),great laughs,a workout and a few more episodes of the munsters to watch. So far ,i suppose, this is as good as it gets. |
