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lavinia alexandra and boarding school life.mix. swear like a sailor,drink like a fish. progressive punk coupled with a regressive mind,one cherrybrandy 7up please. trying to quit smoking like i'm trying to quit you.¬suspicious blanks;there's more than meets the eye¬

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Monday.

The fact that I had a mock interview today had totally slipped my mind. I only remembered I did at 1 last night,but i figured i could sleep off the anixety so i pushed it to the back of my mind and willed myself back to sleep.Of course, like most willed sleep, it was not restful in the least. I was haunted by a whole night of REM sleep,dreaming of dead squirrels,mosquitoes, eerie restuarants,loud cinema's and worst of all, obnoxious tourists. That's two nights in a row creepy restaurants and escalators have plagued my dreams.

When i woke today i felt the weight of stress fall on me like a ton of bricks. I spent my lunch time on my knees ...no, not praying...scavenging around for loose bits of information i could find; between the crevices,under piles of musty books, folded in dvd cases, sandwiched between the pages of my EMPIRE magazines....I was a wreck. Or many wrecks personified in one walking disaster- me.Huddled in my room, I desperately crammed information into my head for a whopping 10 minutes, until i found something better to do than prepare for some stupid interview.

I had found the diary we were all made to keep on the New york art trip last year.I'm surprised it has lasted this long in my keeping. I'm not one for diary keeping so most of it is just choking with scrawl,random bits of paper,and funny jokes my friends made along the trip. However, one page caught my attention as i was leafing through the pages . It was an entry i had scribbled one wet morning in soho. It had been freezing out and we had been graciously granted time to make a dash for starbucks opposite our motel . Back then I wasn't a fan of coffee so I had hot chocolate instead. As I was staring at my cup ,i noticed the print on the side of the cup and this was what it said:

' Risk- taking, trust and serendipity are key ingredients of Joy.
Without risk, nothing new ever happens.
Without trust, fear creeps in.
Without serendipity, there are no surprises'
Rita Golden

Tuesday
8 smth am

The rain did not let up that morning. Having recorded these wise words from the side of a coffee cup, i stepped out into the rain, threw it into the bin and ran.
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