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Images: I Brushes: I Hosts: I, II |
suffering a hangover- so indifferent. so tired.so blah.so upset. the music was king crap, it makes me upset to think i sacrificed my voice and hearing for rubbish. social rejects wanted us, we wanted someone else,we rejected them like they rejected us. tried my first sambuca. this must be recorded down. i didn't feel anything with you breathing down my neck. we wanted all of you to see us move. we were in the mood, but we didn't mean anything we said. you tried to get lucky and you were.that's all i could give you. you never managed to touch me ,but you were temporary relief for a deeper pain. they liked my legs, you liked their weight on yours but they have a mind of their own. they will walk me away from you. he carried me into the air and in my high spirits, i found it amazing his arms were crushing my back,but he held on tight. i held on tighter, knowing everything meant nothing, and nothing bonded us together (i wanted to talk to you, but you ran from me.) 'are you lost or incomplete do you feel like a puzzle; you can't find your missing piece' nothing comes from nothing, but i give you everything because i want you to have it. chance, coincidence, fluke threw another him into my life. at 5am in the morning, with my temples throbbing mercilessly, he was ready to listen big at 26, i felt bigger at 18. an arrogant self-possessed girl, he would forgive me. it's weird to think he used to relief teach pe in my old school, i never saw him. last night, he was my closest confidant. with alcohol on my lips, it was kiss and tell. comfort through a machine, comfort through the internet. his name is clem.clemency; mercy. i needed it. advice and empathy poured in from both ends we listened and took it all in. stumbled out of flick's house at 9 am. clad in last night's clothes, the glamour of the previous night had faded the bright morning glare shed light on my sleepy face. the cold pierced through my clothes my exposed legs like the bare branches of the trees lining the promenade, shivered when the wind blew. i felt so fragile walking down the empty lanes. so naked. a man walked past me smoking a joint at 9am. passing each other by,we were tired in our seperate ways. i wanted to talk to you so badly today. but you ran away from me. who's keeping count anyway. |
