Owner
lavinia alexandra and boarding school life.mix. swear like a sailor,drink like a fish. progressive punk coupled with a regressive mind,one cherrybrandy 7up please. trying to quit smoking like i'm trying to quit you.¬suspicious blanks;there's more than meets the eye¬

skint couture
pandora's box
white noise
pretensions
last resorts
blood relatives
shits & giggles
love|hate
faux pas
random person
wet dreams?
if you're bored
tea
playboy's lost bunny

Talk

Credits
Designer: Vintage Mannequin
Images: I
Brushes: I
Hosts: I, II

Monday.

Nobody said it would hurt this much. Nobody told me how much it would kill to throw a kiss and wave goodbye. Sometimes I wish I could go raining on the sky, I am sick of the sky breaking down on me. One kiss moved me to tears. The lessons we learn when night falls were never mentioned in all of honey's wisdoms. When I fall asleep in the cab ride back nobody witnesses the pain of a girl who has learnt. It was my turn and I wasn't prepared. The crowd gathers, keen-eyed observers to this intimate tragedy; let's go raining on the sky. Let's go raining till we finally summon up enough courage to cry.

Mourning comes and we wipe the sleep from our eyes, we put it to rest with all the regrets that we thought best. How should I say that I really miss you, and how I wish we could love more than just through a machine. Warm lipstick on my shirt, I will find you in some moving shadow in the shape of what I want to see. Here I go building bridges from the slivers of a dream. Whatever comes, I'll get it for you.I will. How best should I tell you that I miss you with every fibre in me. I can never say goodbye. I can never say goodbye. Honey, I want to see you again.

Laughing at convertibles and cabs, you look at me and I'm home at last. We've been walking too long on our own, shaking too hard as the radio drones, singers in tinseltown remind us of our dreams and we split apart at the seams. Do you remember how we dried ourselves off after running away together. We rained on the sky that night, and while we lay by each other, the heavy darkness had never been brighter. Shivering in barely nothing, ducking those evasive glares, those thoughts were ours and we thought we'd live forever. I miss you. I miss your empathy. Nobody told us we had to learn. Nobody mentioned the pain; symptoms of a deeper affliction. What do I do when my heartaches, when our lives break apart. What do I do when your songs resound through this cold room of mine. Nobody told me of this pain, maybe it's because nobody likes to talk about their private tragedies, but between you and me, I miss you more than you say you miss me.

Naked. Raining On the Sky.
Thank you honey. I love you harder now. I give you the love that was meant for two. Now it's just you and me, like it was at the start. We promised each other we'd be happy, now I hear them saying 'you can start again'. Whatever the thought, I'd do it for you. Little girls, we had our hearts broken- so this is what love feels like.

Let's go raining on the sky...

Saturday.

YEP. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE>

As much as i love lalalibertines,it seems the techies are just out to make my life a living hell.

Therefore, till I get back to Singapore and am free from the WebMarshall *grumble grumble*
My blog will be here:

www.darlingcontagion.blogspot.com

Isn't it fun, this blog-hopping....

Friday.

Righters, there's nothing here anymore.
I'm over it.
Enough boredom, blahs,routines, sadness, more blahs in this blog to keep the world depressed for the next century or so.I've done my duty.
Besides, damn coll has decided to block my blog for no particular reason....
What's up with that?

Sooo.....
I declare this blog dead.
For now anyway.
New address: lalalibertines.blogspot

BYE!!! XXXX

It doesn't matter if you don't understand.
Just go with the flow
Or something...

A LONG TRIP
So he was all like blah blah blah blah
and I was all like uh huh uh huh uh huh okay okay okay
and after a whole long trip ,we didn't understand each other anyway.
He was talking out of his ass like he always does.
He was just one of those people you just feel like slapping
But I didn't because I didn't trust him enough not to slap me back.

DRY
I hate being teetotal.
The Teetotal Club Forevz.
Whatever. Just unclog the toilet and I'll be happy.
What's wrong with you anyway... it's so obviously spoilt but you don't want to fix it.

FLESH WOUND
So this door right, like what's it all about.
I don't even care anymore
I don't care that my ass is talking now
I know it's when this happens that the bad becomes worse
that the maybe's become nevers
that the chances become deadends
that the excuses become inadequate
And then I get proven right
.

This is annoying me severely.
Why do we create such problems for ourselves.
It's not even funny anymore

MIS- UNDERSTANDINGS
I shoved a christian louboutin pump into his mouth and he spat it out.
It landed on the floor and this mixed guy came along and picked it up.
He picked it up and cleaned it up for me.
"You shouldn't be ruining perfectly good shoes like that. No wonder you broke that Guess wedge. Been shoving it into some other guys mouth huh?
"I can't help it... "
He said something back which I didn't hear because I couldn't hear because I couldn't breathe.
He wiped the pump and slipped it back onto my foot for me.
"No more cryptic messages?" I asked.
"blah blah blah" he replied.
"uh huh uh huh uh huh okay okay okay".

THORNS
You should just stay where you are
I don't want you here. Breathe someone elses air, this is mine.
It's not fair that you should come
Come and take my territory away from me
Invading my hideout and claiming it yours
Now I can't do bad things anymore when I know you'll be around...
You're a thorn in my foot, a fly in my ear, a blister in my fancy heels...
Stay away!

JUST ROCKS
The Sound of Music had mountains
Japan has mountains
His girlfriend had mountains
I make mountains
out of mole hills
They're Just Rocks. Won't you just hurl a pebble for me?
Just one goddamn pebble?
No? How about a granule of sand?
What, you're just going to sit there whining? If you want to play you're going to have to do more than that.
You're going to have to move mountains.
They're just rocks.

Thursday.

Carnival by The Cardigans
[I love this song! It makes me feel chipper]
[Scaz's Speakers....still....]

Back from my English paper!
It was SUE rubbish! hahaha

Q: The fall of Adam and Eve was attributed to the desire for power. Discuss. [30mks]

Me thinking: Power....yes...Power,well they wanted to know stuff, so that's power.
Power Rangers were pretty sweet...
But there were other stuff too that made them wanna eat the fruit.
Like greed..... Man is it me or is this gym fucking boiling .... *looks up at the industrial heaters right above my head* What the hell..... they're trying to cook us!
So anyway.... Adam and Eve.... they were so lame! Why the hell am I even going to bother!
*looks around, makes eye contact with Justine and rolls eyes, laugh*
Hmm....20 more minutes,still at first page.... hey! where's my kitkat? Damn.
Man that head examiner has grown a beard since our last exam in the summer. Man is he ugly.
Ok ok, Desire for power....yea satan had power to change into cool things like mist and snakes..
*doodles on scrap paper.....draws a snake surrounded in vapours with a tophat singing moonriver*

That was my exam in a nutshell. Well the first half of the paper,the second half on Hamlet is just not worth mentioning. It was a bigger tragedy than the play itself.

Whatever( I had a dream)
Butthole Surfers
[speakers still not working.Using Scaz's]

This is what it's like when you've totally given all hope of salvation.
I'm having my english exams today.
Just finished the first half and didn't finish the paper hahaha.
I've got about another hour to cram but instead I'm typing this and enjoying the Butthole Surfers.Ahhh this is the life.

Texts coming up : Hamlet/ Milton; Paradise Lost.
What I know about Paradise lost:
-Eve gets tempted by the devil, eats the fruit and basically condemns man to non-godliness.
-Devil is bad.
-Devil has kids; Chaos and something else, but they're basically bad too. Or is chaos a place...
Maybe they're called death and destruction... Tom and Mary? Ah Xiong and Ah Du?

What I know about Hamlet:
-Hamlet is tormented
-There is a ghost
-The word 'Hamlet' makes me want to eat luncheon meat.
-I like the name Ophelia

Success! I am invincible!

This morning was post-1945 Drama.
Didn't manage to finish my paper, but it doesn't piss me off as much as the fact that I didn't get to eat my kitkat. I should have brought it with me.... Damn.
I forgot the name of one of the characters so I spent 2 minutes going down the alphabet and guessing a name for him. I called him Nick. He seemed like a Nick. Now if only my teacher thinks so too....

In the past few days I've been so resigned and dejected I've actually created 2 blogs in the process.But i'll be typing in this one most of the time.
My ex has just sent me an email on friendster, too bad I can't access it... wonder what he wants.
Probably his jersey or me to join some stupid msn online gaming group... for pete's sake.
I've got better things to do than play msn games... like create blogs, toast bagels, make tea, do my laundry, read my magazines, the list is never ending!Busy busy busy....

I was thinking last night, if I had to come up with a list of songs I'd like to seduce someone to this would be it:
- Sugar Rush by A-teens
- Crush by Mandy Moore
- Buses and Trains by Bachelor Girl
- Kiss Me by Sixpence none the Richer
- Original Prankster by the Offspring

(Hahahahaha Just kiddiiiiiiiing..... I pity da fool who would have to be seduced by me)
Maybe....
- #1 Crush- Garbage
- Whatever ( I had a dream) - Butthole surfers
- Talk Show Host- Blur
Can't think of anymore right now... it'll be a short seducing session.
Time is of the essence!
I crack me up....

So I was shown this picture by this person yesterday of this other person who just got his driver's license and my first reaction was BAHAHAHAHAHA
I'm just mentioning this to prove that I'm losing my marbles, I'm finding everything funny nowadays. I mean, how can someone be so tickled by a driver's license....
BAHAHHAHA
You should have seen it... Espeically with the caption of 'freedom' or something scribbled at the bottom. Separately it would have been amusing but together it was fucking hilarious.
This person was looking highly unglam in the picture, curiously resembling one of my cousins, and you can just imagine the person tearing down the PIE with that mug and a manic look in his eyes yelling ' freedom!'
HAHAHAA ...

everyone's getting their driver's license nowadays
I can't wait till I get mine. Summer is going to be dedicated to driving lessons, I'll camp there if I have to,I must get my driver's license so I can drive my mum's merc and leave her no other choice but to buy a new one. I hate mercedes's they're so gross. If I were to get a car it'll be a sweet jeep with cool hubcaps with lots of space at the back for... recreational activities.

In the meantime, with more people getting their driving licenses there'll be more people to drive me around. Or I could just ask my driver... nah, riding in other people's cars is funner...

Omg, it just hit me.
I'm 20 next year!
ACK!

Tuesday.

I'm not studying for my mocks. I really am not. But today I decided to read through one of my ten plays, Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf and it's just hit me how beautiful this play is. It's almost like tiny dancer coupled with playground love set against the final scene in the Age of Innocence. It's just one of those things that make you feel so understood and guilty at the same time.

Martha:
Daddy, you have red eyes... because you cry all the time, don't you, Daddy. Yes; you do. You cry allll the time... I cry all the time too. Daddy... but deep inside, so noone can see me. I cry all the time. And Georgie cries all the time, too. We both cry all the time, and then, what we do, we cry, and we take our tears, and we put them in the icebox, in the goddamn ice trays... until they're all frozen.. and then we put them in our... drinks.Up the drain, down the spout, dead,gone and forgotten... I've got windshield wipers on my eyes , because I married you... baby!

I can't believe I actually like some of the texts i'm doing. It's insane.
Bah,I hate school anyway....

Monday.



First day back in school after 2 weeks of being clutched in the icy hands of death .

I turned up with a scar on my face because I had scratched myself by accident the night before and a purple thumb (I had slammed it with the door of the dryer). As you can see, I was alive and kicking.As z puts it, I have the knack of 'attracting accidents' onto myself.

No red carpet treatment for me but I had the pleasure of knowing all lessons were cancelled this week due to the mock exams.

So here I was merrily celebrating, getting my party poppers out when f tells me that I had a history mock in ....5 minutes. The party poppers went back in the bag and out came the plastic pencil case. The past week had gone by like a blur with 80% of my time spent on msn,10%sleeping and 10% eating, the moment of reckoning had come at last. Resigned to my fate, it was with a heavy heart and a heavy belly (from all the eating of the past week),I waddled into the gym, telling myself it was no big deal. it was only a mock.

The nightmare was far from over. mort,flis and I got separated from the herd and ended up sitting with some girls from another random history set.We got the wrong question paper and got slapped on the head by captain kirk (the mofo) with her stack of papers, in front of everyone!Physics...Maths....French...German.... It was pretty amusing... what with the wrong seating,wrong paper,slap on the head,going to fail anyway....Oh well, c'est la vie.

Got more papers coming up but here I am faffing about.
I love to faff.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

What's it with me and guys. Honestly.

Just when I get rid of one freak, another comes trotting along leaving a train of semen in his tracks.

First there was sick 26 year old perv . Clem.
He was all dandy to talk to but he started getting so clingy you'd think his mother was cling film and his dad scotch tape. Pestering me every waking moment....
Alright, he did good in all his flattery, but seriously.
On top of that, he had the stupidity (or guts) to brag about his tiny manhood. Is that supposed to turn me on because ...I'm not feeling it.
You're 26! Get a clue!
So here comes Clem asking me out for drinks when I get back, and I insist he bring a hot friend. Doesn't that indicate some sort of repulsion when a girl will only go out with you if you bring alternative company?
Still not getting the hint, he asks me to go tanning with him...swimming with him.
Maybe noone's told you this but you're fat, ugly, old, CLINGY,with a nonexistent manhood to boot so maybe you should think three hundred times before you start turning on your charm to seduce the ladies'.

Next in line, following closely after the example of Clem comes Glenn (hey, it rhymes...do I detect a pattern?)

Apparently, according to this natural casanova, he's had a crush on me since my heydays back in ohsohappening acjc. *ew*. Claiming to have been in the same orientation group as me, he thought I was hot. Caught him out on that one, anyone who thought I was hot would have to be blind. But then again...it was jc,so I guess choice was rather...limited. We're talking about schools where balding 50year old women in waisted pants with lipstick on their teeth have their names etched onto plastic tables for petes' sake. Also, if he had a crush on me he would have given me something for vd, but his only reply was 'shy lorrrr' *weak!* What is wrong with these people???

He asks me if his gf is hot. In a word, NO. But of course, I had to be nice, she's not the kind of girl I'd go for. He's a swimmer, hence the good bod, too bad he's having trouble keeping his manhood under wraps. What's it with guys and their toys... they never outgrow them really. I guess I'm less harsh with him because he's a new edition and he's got a cute smile. Still, nonetheless, he makes it to my geeks& freaks list.





________________________________________________________________________________________________

Speaking of geeks and freaks, found a couple of pictures with me and my fellow geeks/freaks.
I love them all SUE much and can't wait to see them again!!

Anne M!!! XX I love this chickadeeee... she's got balls.

Sprinklepuff!! Doing his thang...


Momo and Mel.... I'm SUE in love with this picture! He carries off the goth look so well!



My mate & godbro Lawrence! Always munted...Always fucking cool....


Yea yea , I know what you guys will say about this picture...BUT we had such good fun!


What can I say...Mel, You're practically like the retard on the right who so happens to be my sis. I hate to say it but LOVE YOU...XX


Sunday.

Alright, the previous post was abit too confessional for some eyes so I've decided to remove it.
If you've missed it...it wasn't meant for you haha.
I did have a few favourite lines in there that are too good to keep in my private log so here they are:
Whatever mother fuckers,go back to your desk stations.

Teenage rebellion has become a habit, a lifestyle,and the only one afraid is me.

My lips are still virginal because I have not been sucking hard enough at life's marrow.

Going back for a month already only to be kept prisoner.
I've whined enough about this to a so I shall refrain from whinging yet again.
more later.

Wednesday.

I like having pictures in my blog. It was a pity I never had any to put up.
Thanks to Anna baby, I have...erm...two.

Sept2005
Taken in Anna's room before we snuck out of Liz.
Anna's bday. Remember being feckin tired here.
The room was trashed after we partied.

I reckon I look like a tranny here but Anna (the bday girl) looks real pretty here.

Pssh,obviously, I did her makeup.


Dec 2005

I like this picture of us.

Went to Zouk in our coll uniforms, it was sweet. Albeit really really hot.

I remember after an hour or so pressing up against the crowd in this outfit, the buttons were coming undone.

Catalyst, you insist to pull me down
You contradict the fact that you still want me around
And it's all downhill from here
And it's all downhill from here
Your good intentions slowly turned to bitterness
Reccurring episodes with each and every kiss
And I can tell you're going through the motions
I figured you were acting out your part
Once again we're playin off emotion
Which one of us will burn until the end?
It's C's birthday today. Despite being asked out for drinks, I doubt I can go : (
It's s's Sis' birthday on saturday. Despite being on the guestlist, I doubt I can go : (
I don't know what's happening to me. I have stopped smoking for a good two weeks and have not touched a drop of alcohol since I got back. I even forgot mel's birthday.
Mel, if you're reading this, Happy (belated) Birthday babe! x
Happy Birthday to You
Can't believe you're 19!!
I hope you had an amazing one
May you get hotter with every year, and may all your deepest wishes come true!
Have a shot on me!
hurhur
*Birthday Kisses & Hugs!!*
Omg, I've just realised you can see Nicky Hilton's tits in this picture. Look Away! Ew, they're sick....
On a more random note, People might say I'm a shadow of my former myself, some might even stoop low enough to label me 'boring'. *Gasp!* This can't be happening to me. This virus has really robbed me of more than my health, it has robbed me of my identity. And have I mentioned I have not been shopping for a whole month and abit. This is terrible. I'm turning into a hermit.
I figure, give me 2 more weeks before I turn into this:
This is me coming back from shopping at PoundLand
The streets of London can get pretty dark, hence the oil lamp.
And so the metamorphosis begins.....































And there's this one thing that's been on my mind for the past 2days.
What if this is just another case of ala folie pas du tout? Where everything is all in my head. And by everything, I mean all these years of lies.
I was talking to M the other day and he was running down my whole notion that whatever is fated to happen will happen. If i'm fated to see Him again, I will, or at least that's what I've been telling myself ever since I left Singapore.But what if the best I ever get has already happened.
It was totally killing me in the bath the other day. I was just sitting amongst the soap suds, typical pedro style, with the steam totally condensing into beads of water all over my skin and just slowly snapping out of the dreamworld I've created for the past 2 years. I never managed to shake it off completely, the heat was distracting, and I do like to think that there's a light at the end of the tunnel, however faint.



These random thoughts are not unfounded. I dreamt of Him the other night and was relating my dream to A when halfway through I realised my dreams were starting to sound more ridiculous.My favourite part was the bit where I turned into a white panther and made him so terrified. He finally noticed me then, when he never did before.

Monday.




There are many things that cheese me off in this world.
Most recently, germs really get my goat, and used tissue papers I don't recognise as mine.
Then there is lint, heartburn, death, loud people, old people, stinky people, nasty people, emo people.
But all is not lost, because just as there are many things cheese me off, there are some things that don't.
One of these things would be Ninjas.

Ninjas don't piss me off because unlike most guys, they can kick ass.
Not in the emo way or a testosterone pumped way, but in a zen way which is cool.
One throw of their ninja star and your enemy is dead.
Normally,if you go out with a guy and complain about some bitch who's totally cramping your style,all you get is a gay 'relax' or 'smile' or something as useless as that. How can one relax when someone annoying like K is roaming the streets creating havoc on humanity's Chi by pissing everyone off?
If it was a Ninja, you can rest easy with the thought your Ninja lover will 'deal' with her. K go bye bye *smile smile*

Going out with a Ninja is sweet because if you do marry him, you'll be guaranteed a cool looking family. Instead of having one that looks like any other family living around the corner or hiding in a dumpster, your family will be guaranteed an element of mystery and class. If you need help visualising here it is.






















Need I say more? Honestly. Noone will dare mess with anyone whose lil tykes wield nunchucks and scythes while their daddy looks on protectively. Hardcore.

Ninjas rock so much harder because no mater what, despite their cold, dark , sinister exteriors, they'll always make you laugh. Not because they tell corny jokes like some guys, or because you have to laugh or it'll be 'impolite' but because they're seriously humorous people.
Tell me you can contain your laugh when you look at people like these:

















or these















Like seriously, are these guys for real????

If you need anymore convincing why Ninjas kick ass, here it is.
http://www.realultimatepower.net/

Therefore, I rest my case. Ninjas rock.

Sunday.

This is my tribute to VD. Right, let's get it over and done with.

-Valentine's Day is like herpes: just when you think its gone for good, it rears its ugly head once more. No wonder some people prefer to call it VD

- TO YOU THE IDIOT! JUST KISS ME ALREADY!I AM TIRED OF PLAYING GAMES. YOU KNOW I LIKE YOU, I KNOW YOU LIKE ME TOO. OK, MAYBE NOT. BUT PLEASE, FOR THE LIFE OF GOD, JUST FUCKING GRAB MY ARM THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE ME AND GIVE ME A GOOD TONGUE ACTION. THANK YOU.

- Ode of choice:
I miss you more then Michael Bay missed the mark
When he made Pearl Harbor
I miss you more than that movie missed the point
And that’s an awful lot girl
And now, now you’ve gone away
And all I’m trying to say is
Pearl Harbor sucked, and I miss you
I need u like Ben Affleck needs acting school
He was terrible in that film
I need u like Cuba Gooding needed a bigger part
He’s way better than Ben Affleck
And now all I can think about is your smile
and that shitty movie too
Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you
Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies?
I guess Pearl Harbor sucked
Just a little bit more than I miss you

-A surprise from A almost gave me a heartattack. what a way to go.

Thursday.

















Go Go Yubari. Sharp things are so pretty.

American fans of Asian action cinema will recognize Chiaki Kuriyama instantly from Kinji Fukasaku's 2000 cult classic Battle Royale.

The general kick-assness of this japanese villain makes Go Go my ultimate screen idol. I especially liked the part where she stabs this perv in the guts with her shogun.

Go-Go ( in japanese) : Do you want to touch me?
Perv: Yes
Go-Go: (whips out samurai sword and plunges it into his abdomen. Blood Blood.More Blood.)
Sigh it was SO GOOD.








To be honest, I didn' t like Memoirs much. The pacing was off at some bits and i felt the movie was way too draggy. Although the cinematography was beautiful, the blandly wistful gaze of 'Ziyi Zhang', and Michelle Yeoh kind of pissed me off.

I dislike them with a passion.

However, Gong Li did the most superb job with her role as Hatsumomo. Ok, I admit I'm pretty biased,but I do believe she's one of the greatest actresses who has ever lived. I was so happy when she grabbed 'Ziyi Zhang's' hair going 'I wiw destro-h yew...'
Please Do! The latter was totally ruining the movie.

Hatsumomo (created by Gong Li) was one of the coolest on-screen characters I have ever seen. Her tousled mass of black hair gave her character, Her bitchiness betrayed an inner bitterness which was tragic, Her lover was hot,She was hot, She had the best kimono's, the best accessories,and best of all, she hated 'Ziyi Zhang's' character. Therefore, She is the best.


I'm convinced the only reason why Yeoh and Zhang were placed in this frame was just to remind us how much Hatsumomo (Gong Li) rocks so much harder than they do.


I love pretty bitchy girls who hate Ziyi Zhang and old leatherface over here,Michelle Yeoh. (no amount of foundation can hide the years yeoh).






















Saving Face was a brilliant film. Joan Chen was amazing, as usual. She was funny, tragic, but mostly funny, as the 'rebel' mum beneath the whole uptight traditional chinese exterior. Unlike Memoirs, none of the girls in this movie pissed me off. Aside from those sickening gossipy aunties which reminded me very much of aunties I know. The love between the two protagonists was so sweet and exciting , if I didn't know any better, I would think this film is a bender.

Anyway, I think Lynn Chen (Vivian, to the left of the first picture), is way hot. Now I know who Wil reminds me of...wrong sex though.







I didn't like any of Eric Khoo's films much. By the time I was done with the Eric Khoo boxset, the first 12 seconds of Be With Me reduced me to a bubbling spaz mess.
.
But despite this, I think Lum May Yee is well cool.







I didn't think I'd say this, but I really enjoyed 15. I really really did. I REALLY loved it actually. It was a really good film.

There were some bits which totally grossed me out, but about 40 minutes into the movie I realized I was crushing on one of the Ah-bengs in it (inserted picture).




It must've been the fact he only has one tattoo and was adverse to piercings despite having no qualms about cutting people's ears off. He was so quirky and sensitive and refreshingly different, it was love at first sight.


He's even on the cover! Obviously I'm not alone in thinking he's well hot.
Hm...and I thought those were bubbles on the cover...







His friend, the one in the orange shorts, is really freaky.He looks like a punk tweety bird suffering from some facial fungal infection.

But man, He's so hot (green shorts). I can't remember what his name is but he's hot. It was so touching when he expressed concern for his tweety bird friend when the latter was trying to shit condoms of e out his butt.

I never thought I'd be crushing on an ahbeng but I really liked him. This just goes to show, ahbengs CAN have good genes.




Meet the Maker.

Royston Tan.

15 totally rocked.

I LOVE IT

Wednesday.

i hate being sick.

i can't even get uninterrupted sleep. The matrons keep coming in to take my temperature and getting me to pop panadol like candy.

it was worse yesterday.

woke up with a raging fever after 2hours of sleep and was in such discomfort i was sobbing to my mum on the phone. i have never sobbed to my mum for help before .Maybe ten years ago...
I got up and coughed blood, then rang mrs g's doorbell for some panadol at 5am in tears.
she handed me the pills and walking up the stairs i coughed once and almost fell down the stairs.it hurt so much.

I think i'm getting better today,my temperature has fallen to 36.5 (is that normal?) and i get room service. Not exactly, but the matrons have offered to bring lunch to me today.sweet. My room is like the cave of doom with the blinds drawn shut. Oh wait, no my temperature is back up again.38.5 degrees. is that high? man, my brain feels like it's being fried in my skull.

Aside from my impending death, i really hope my temperature goes down. A told me that if it doesn't they will have to shove a pill or something up my ass. That's so gross and wrong (especially if it's a stranger doing it). I've never had anything shoved up my anus and i'm not prepared to just yet.

Valentines Day is around the corner. Sod it. That's all I can say about it for now.

Monday.

i'm about 2 days away from coughing blood. the victim of an epidemic i fear i might not make it past next week.
to all my friends , i bequeath my collection of cds, fairy lights,ck underwear,scented candles and fridge.
to my loved ones, my favourite flip flops, my collection of magazines, and last but not least, my ang pow money. you have it anyway.
to all those in between, i leave my stash of dvd's and secrets/ funny jokes i have kept on post-its all over my room and drawers.

my throat aches. i'm not supposed to die till the 5th of August at 82.

i feel like tiny tim cratchit from the muppets christmas carol.
'tis the TB plague i fear,yessiree, stricken the cold through his tahny bones guv'nor,i fear tiny tim 'ere won't make it past this christmas. crikey chim chimenee *HACK*
i don't even know what i'm saying. but you get the drift.


Behold.
Tiny Tim (the one being held up by kermit)

Sunday.

we managed to decode a song that i had spent ages puzzling over.
it was written in mandarin therefore 80% unaccessable for me.
z and sc were no help at all.
"dou shi mat mat mat mat..."
gee,thanks guys. loads of help.
i got the idea it basically meant 'it is all your fault..' but that was as far as my mandarin prowess would allow me to comprehend.
thinking it a particularly bitter and vindictive song i confess i was abit miffed when it was posted.

However,thanks to s, it's all settled now.
the gist of the song (from our understanding),was

it's all your fault for falling in love so easily
something about being obsessed with someone
under the moonlight ...(your hair shines grey)
it's all your fault your words are sweet as honey (chocolate bunny)
repeat chorus times 3 except change bunny to honey
you're so soft and gentle (and floppy)
like a ragdoll,but in that instance, i want to be with you till you're aged
your hair positively thinning
paradoxically,you're young and floppy at the moment*

* most of it has been improvised due to limitations in language

now s is singing the tune to me...
the da da da's sound promising
it is indeed a romantic song.
the kind of song i want dedicated to me.

Behold.
The three foot tall artist.
Note the highlights in his hair... snazzy.

Saturday.

i've experienced an episode of self-discovery today.

one thing i hate more than museum trips is being woken at the crack of dawn and being forced to go on one.
i had decided the night before i would avoid today's trip to the Brit. Musuem like i would the plague,but evidently,my plan was foiled by a call from the mother.

'i think you should go, miss t is sounds really upset...knowing her,she might give you the evil eye during lessons,but really darling,i can't make your decisions for you,you have to do what's right'
(reading between the lines)
'you better go woman,if you know what's best for you! i'm taking the diplomatic approach and providing you with the option to do as you wish,but what i really mean is...go or you're doomed to eternal damnation by me and miss t'
note: this was at 6am in the morning and i was right in the middle of the weirdest dream ever.
couldn't she at least have waited!

i was so frustrated with tiredness and the thought of spending the 12 hours travelling to the museum and back had reduced me to wimpy sobs over the phone:
'b-but mommmmy!!! miss t is j-just over react-ting!!(£$(*"£$(*£'

Needless to say, it was off to another round of death by marble at the bm. my third trip in the past two years.
bad things happen to me when i'm tired. i'm a hazard to myself.
This included walking into a woman peeing, tripping down the stairs,almost breaking a mug of soup onto the cashier's till and cashier. However, i must not fail to mention the coup d'etat, the piece de resistance... i got into a fight with the security guard.
Like seriously, in the middle of the hall of ancient spears/ coins/ boring things i had a shouting match with him all of which he started.

He was an old man which we believed to have been part of the bible tour going round the museum ,seeing as he was so highly strung (you know how fanatics can get), but he turned out to be the security guard. Strolling through the halls i realised i had lost my friends so i made a cursory glance around me ,lost in my own thoughts of tiredness, before this loud bellow came from behind me, "exccuuuusee meeee!!!!!!!!!!". i turned around and there he was. i had made way for him,in fact there was a good 3ft circumference of space around me for him to past through but he was not satisfied. he shot me a die-woman! glance and decided to make a big show of it.


"erm..go?!" , i said as i motioned him to walk through but he just stood there glaring at me.
This was how it went:
old bastard: " i told you to move!!!"
me: I did move!!! why don't you just past through??!!
o.b: Well!!! well.....
me: well look, here's the space, you could have just walked through,there's no need to be so hostile
o.b: I said excuse me! but if you refuse to accept it!!
me: refuse to accept it??!! i made way for you ( seeing as he was close to hurling his walkie talkie at me i chose to be the bigger man and walk away)..pssh..forget it


Izzie and Laura both backed me up saying the man was crazy and i should report him to the museum. i should,but i wished death on him instead,and seeing as i was surrounded by egyptian tomb stuff i figure Ra, Ptah or someone will take my prayer to anubis and bring death to him on swift wings. ah, the british museum...

Thursday.

i'm in an egotistic mood right now.
When am i never...

YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED!

This is the contact group's model scouts, who have rigorously searched the marble corridor, library and break queues for the faces of our fashion show. We believe YOU will bring the cool look and pizzazz that we're looking for. (Kate Moss said she couldn't make it, she had a white powder engagement)

The fashion show is the first week of the summer term and you will have the opportunity to have your hair and make-up done by professionals aswell as wearing the high street top brands and the chic style of London fashion students plus little pre-show aperitifs to get you 'in contact' with your sexy side...if the professional male models won't do that already!

Nervous of the catwalk? Don't worry, we have talented model advisors to help you drop it like it's hot!

i got this email today from freyja. Apparently out of the whole upper sixth-formers, 20 of us have been asked to model for this fashion show in the summer. I'm flattered really,seeing as i've mastered looking shite into an artform. Also, i'm the only chinese there,and i'm er,petite.Catwalk? pssh....they must be messing with me.

went to nigel spivey's talk on greek art and the interpretation of odysseus on greek vases.

i had watched his dvd 'how art made the world' on a train (cost me $98) and i was in complete awe. before the talk started he was sitting in front of me and i swear, i couldn't stop grinning at all. it was like being seated behind a movie star,nay,a god.I'm normally the least enthusiastic member of our classciv set but having such a dapper intellectual 1foot away had reduced me to a gushing lump of houmus.He was doing an autograph session at the end of it and i was so tempted to have him sign my bag,my stomach,my back,my face but miss t was there so...damn.sigh...spivey...*gush gush*


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Wednesday.

It was a few nights back when we walked into a's abandoned room. It was freezing as usual and reeking of stale smoke. Waiting for us on the bed was a hostile note with some scrawl written in black byro. It basically complained about the toilet bowl being choked up by our cigarrettes and leaving the loo smelling bad. It was an anonymous note. The writer was obviously too balless to sign off, but i think i know who it is anyway. it's freaky p.

It's true,even in a world where porn is celebrated as indie art, smokers are still victims of stigma.pssh, talk about exercising double standards. Smoking is just something we do. Not something that defines who we are. Although, to be fair, the defining line between the two does get blurred now and then.

Anyway, back to freaky p's vendetta, the toilet is clogged dear girl, because someone has been barfing down the loos every lunchtime hence clogging it.Yes, someone/ some people are active bulimics in our house. We smokers may be robbed of a healthy respiratory system, but our commonsense is as yet,impeccable. Cig butts down the loo will equate to major backclog.Obviously the bulimics are a dumber breed. Surprise. As for the smell, the latter are the worse. We smell of pollution, they smell of what you,freaky p, would smell like should you be turned inside out : )

So today k decides she wants to go bulimic and comes to me for advice. She wants be persuaded against it, so i play along only to find out that she only wants me to make a show of disapproval but not mean it. if you ask me, in defence of the bulimics, she doesn't have what it takes. it takes complete mental irrationality, consuming vanity,blind single-mindedness focused on the short term and stamina. She doesn't have any of the aforementioned. Sigh, she just pisses me off so much sometimes. She managed to psyche me into actually caring that i've gotten fat but after spying some half-eaten chocolate bar on my table i got distracted.

If you want to be part of the 'in' crowd, the first step to take would be to visit www.bluedragonfly.org . It's pretty good. Adorn yourself with trinkets and parade your deep-seated mental insecurities to the world!! Yay!


On a less sarcastic note
Family Business by Kanye West is beautiful.
Ms Hill by Talib Kwell...
all that glitters is not gold...
i hate to say it but i'm really missing him...

Cowboys :A 3 sec clip of brokeback has taken my breath away, and another 2 second moment in the movie has plunged me into pure emo sappiness. The former has Heath throwing Jake against the wall and delivering one of the most passionate kisses i have ever seen.Z's running commentary of the clip revealed that the kiss happened after they had parted for years, and when they saw each other again...siiigh.It was heartbreaking.
Apparently they had to do numerous takes of it and on a few occasions Heath almost broke Jake's nose in his enthusiasm. I would so risk a broken nose for a kiss like that. Better than breaking my nose from too much booze eh mel? haha
(ps the porn version's called bareback mounting. sweet.)

Wetdreams: Z and K decided to rot out in my room this afternoon and the topic of dreams came up. I had the freakiest dream last night. I won't go into the details on this blog, but there were a couple of us in mel's house and the place was flooded in clear blue water. k's grandmother taught her to interpret dreams and she said that dreaming of clear water indicates a radical change will happen in my life within the next month. i'm scared.
i hate to admit it,but i do believe in these things. Then came the topic of bed wetting and funny stuff like that. My friend's have concluded i was the most retarded kid they have ever met. At least i learn from my experiences in bed.






Monday.

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:lavinia
Birthday:23rd oct
Birthplace:singapore
Current Location:uk
Eye Color:brown
Hair Color:brown/black
Height:1.58- i might have grown in the past 4 years
Right Handed or Left Handed:right
Your Heritage:chinese (half shanghai-nese ;P)
The Shoes You Wore Today:black adidas trainers
Your Weakness:chocolate,dancing,msn,smoking,the other half
Your Fears:starving,suffocation,isolation, chinese lion dances, having no liquid handsoap,lint on my clothes
Your Perfect Pizza:smothered in chocolate and bananas
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:don't like disappointment, don't like being forced to do things, therefore,don't subscribe to them
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:haha
Thoughts First Waking Up:urgh.....i'm sick...
Your Best Physical Feature:lips
Your Bedtime:as long as i can go without getting double vision
Your Most Missed Memory:being a kid
Pepsi or Coke:dislike both,but if i had to choose..coke
MacDonalds or Burger King:maccy-d fries,burger king burgers
Single or Group Dates:depends on how much i like the person
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:i don't like tea. long island tea count...
Chocolate or Vanilla:CHOCOLATE (pay attention!)
Cappuccino or Coffee:can't tell the difference,just as long as i get hyper it doesnt matter
Do you Smoke:too much
Do you Swear:fuck yes
Do you Sing:yes,much to the misfortune of my neighbours and family
Do you Shower Daily:yes
Have you Been in Love:i don't know
Do you want to go to College:if they will have me
Do you want to get Married:if he/she/it will have me
Do you belive in yourself:i believe more in my luck.
Do you get Motion Sickness:yes
Do you think you are Attractive:hella yes
Are you a Health Freak:hella no
Do you get along with your Parents:more or less
Do you like Thunderstorms:no
Do you play an Instrument:used to
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:this liver here's as hard as a rock
In the past month have you Smoked:yes.yes i have.
In the past month have you been on Drugs:maybe
In the past month have you gone on a Date:i don't know
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:i've walked through it as a shortcut to get to the otherside
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:no...but fucking crave some now
In the past month have you been on Stage:no
In the past month have you been Dumped:i don't know
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:no,not this month
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:no
Ever been Drunk:i've been drunk my whole life
Ever been called a Tease:think so,don't pay much attention to what these bugger's say
Ever been Beaten up:not in that sense
Ever Shoplifted:yes...well kinda,from the drink auntie in primary school...hardcore eh
How do you want to Die:laughing
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:happy and satisfied
What country would you most like to Visit:singapore
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:doesn't matter
Favourite Hair Color:dark
Short or Long Hair:short
Height:tall but not monstrous or eclipse-causing
Weight:normal
Best Clothing Style:smth that suits him/her,adventurous,smart with a laid-back feel,alternative
Number of Drugs I have taken:drugs? que?what are these "drugs" you speak of...
Number of CDs I own:too many to count
Number of Piercings:it's fallen from 9 to 4
Number of Tattoos:1
Number of things in my Past I Regret:i don't believe in regrets

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